SAUDIA ARABIA
WE ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO SAUDI ARABIA....
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There was some doubt initially, partially because not that many people actually go there as tourists, partially because the country is TOTALLY DRY. No booze at all. Not even in the hotels for tourists. By Boxing Day this was starting to be seen as a good thing. Dubai is so NOT a dry country! Not for us anyway. So a few days de-tox is just what the doctor ordered, quite literally in our case ......
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The other reason is shown on the map above. The UAE is not exactly surrounded by tourist friendly havens of calm and quiet. More like surrounded by loons with guns and issues. So having looked around and written off 99% of the countries within sensible flying time then Saudi Arabia elbowed itself to the front of the eligable country queue.
Another plus point is that 5 Star hotels in Jeddah are about £100 a night, cheap, cheap, cheap. So we fly the three hours to the costal capital and home of Mecca, which incidentally we are forbidden to visit, Muslims only, no pretending, if I said I was a Muslim I have to sit, and pass, a test to prove it. So no Mecca then.
Slight admin hiccup as my previous research had falsely convinced me we did not need visas for Saudi Arabia. I did a last minute check on ChatGPT and the little monkey put me right. You so do need them, at £40 a pop. Close shave there. Bit like the Tanzanian visa's which we don't have yet either.
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Arrive at the airport to be greeted by so many men in white bathrobes that it was like being in a spa. Not the smart Dish-dash with the headdress held in place by a neat black rope, nope, this is two white towels, one round the waist, one flung over the shoulders, apparently called Ihram, worn for the pilgrimage to Mecca. And no little white faces, just us, almost NO other westerners.
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We have three nights booked at the Narcissus Al Hamra Hotel in downtown Jeddah, near the old town of Al Balad. Overlooking the beach. The beach turns out to be a wide flat, stony area where men in cars drive to the shore line, a pile of rocks to prevent erosion, and park up. They literally park, for hours and just sit in their cars or dangle their feet in the Red Sea, big sign NO FISHING, NO SWIMMING, I look out my window and there must be 200 parked right now at 3.00pm. I know they are not dogging, Sara and I walked up to a few and peered in. They just peered back, admittedly a bit perplexed. So not dogging, not fishing, not swimming. Having been in Jeddah a couple of days we worked out that this was the pinnacle of fun in this rather weird town. Drive to the beach and have a few hours sitting in a hot car. We'd do it but we don't have a car.
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First morning chilling, then off to walk the potentially charming old town and then the highly recommended evening promenade along the famous Jeddah Corniche before dinner. Both better seen at night, both in view of the biggest FOUNTAIN in the world (water spurts higher that the Eiffel Tower), what was the tallest FLAGPOLE in the world, until Egypt beat it in 2014, the highest LIGHTHOUSE in the world, and The JEDDAH TOWER, soon to be the tallest building in the world - take that Burj Khalifa!!! Your crown is due to be usurped in 2028!! The Saudis seem to have the same issue with height as the Malaysians do in Kuala Lumpor.
And there you have it - everything to see and do in Jeddah! NUMBER ONE: The 'old town' of Al Balad. NUMBER 2: Evening stroll along the world famous Jeddah Corniche, a nice paved path along the seashore. NUMBER THREE: Drive to the beach and sit in your car for hours. NUMBER FOUR: Visit the Jeddah Sculpture Park, except they have removed the sculptures and bunged them on the motorway central reservations, but not taken down the big website that has it at Number Four. Sara is not best pleased. I keep saying it is a place to tick off the world traveller list and we get a three day de-tox. She keeps saying I'm a knob!
So we wandered round Al Balad, which I must say had some charm, then hopped in a cab to go 40 minutes north to the Jeddah Corniche which is apparently THE place at sunset. THE place for about 100 Saudis to sit on folding chairs and stare at the sea more like. Dead, dead, dead and bordered by an 8 lane highway the other side of which boasted some lonely multistorey hotels. We walked miles in search of a cab, no phone service to call a Careem, no restaurants, no people, then just the faint tinkle of music coming from the oddest structure visible half a mile away. Head for the music!!! Climb over a couple of hedges, scramble up a bank, finally to emerge on the right (probably private) road and bingo! THE GOOD BUTCHER. One year old, massive top quality steak restaurant, amazing place, with a BAR!!!! And a wine list, with a great selection of beers as well. We jokingly queried how they could sell Merlot, Pinto Grigio, Guinness etc in a dry country and they proudly explained that the whole lot was alcohol free! No alcohol but still £65 a bottle for the non-wine sweet grape juice and a wallet bleeding £14 a can for Guinness Zero. Which put the £65 for a 250gm steak into perspective. But we stayed and it was the best steak I have had in years. Excellent service and packed.
So, by the end of day one we have pretty much exhausted the delights of Jeddah. So back to the room and the one amazing thing I have seen in this one horse town - the Japanese toilet! We've all heard of them but it is not that often that you get up close and personal with one. It's amazing!!!
It senses you entering the throne room and opens up the lid as you approach, spritzes the bowl with preparatory water, turns on a light inside the bowl, has a hot (not warm) heated seat, an anti-pong extractor fan starts up if you sit on it, options to wash and blow dry your bum, front bottom and back bottom, pressure up or down, squirt a bit higher or lower, and, business over, if you just totally ignore it and walk a way it decides which flush to use and then closes the lids itself while humming a little tune. Bet it's a bugger to service on breakdown.
So day two dawns and we have nothing on the agenda, so a walk along the motorway calls....... This is actually when we checked out the aforementioned doggers on our way to simply see a bit more of the town. We are the ONLY pedestrians in about a 3 mile walk. Not one other person walking. Not actually that many cars either. A bit like last night, we are about to give up hope when a distant mirage solidifies into an oasis - The Park Hyatt Jeddah Marina Club and Spa - That's a bit off us, so in we go for a very pleasant lunch and a couple of pots of Arabic Coffee, which costs £19 for two small cuplets each. So f***ing expensive because along with hand picked Arabica beans from The Yemen, it is made with Cardamom and Saffron, making the spice content more expensive than the coffee, then hand roasted and served in a lovely gold pot. It's a big cultural thing and normally served with dried figs. Sara can be see slurping it down with gay abandon, the cup in the foreground cost about £5. So it really is not going to catch on in Starbucks!!!!!
After our marathon boozing session, starting on December 4th at the 'never ending wedding', then at the Henslow Family Christmas celebration, and ending as our feet touched the ground here in Jeddah on the 28th, a mere 24 days solid on the sauce, I have to admit that being two days into our enforced de-tox - I don't feel any different. Which is a bit of a disappointment. I was hoping to be at least two inches taller, much better looking and more intelligent. In fact I have noticed no advantages, except saving around £100 a day..... each.
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Don't forget that in these parts £100 a day buys about 3 glasses of wine and a couple of beers. In he UK I'd only save about £80.
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I even get up way more often at night for a pee, not simply because I am so impressed with the Jap Bog and want to have another go, but according to medical science (ChatGPT) it is a normal bodily response to coming off the hard stuff. Your body chemically reprograms to adjust to the new reality. Things you (and I) learn on this blog continually amazes me.
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Maybe I'll get taller tomorrow?
SO WE HAD A PLANNING MEETING INSTEAD..................
Instead of trying to find anything else to do in this one camel town we planned. Planning takes time and mutual support and coordination, and no arguing, just checking each others work and that we are booking for the right month/year/dates/price and whether on not we need a flipping visa. No Tanzanian visas , 4 days to go.
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WE ARE NOW GOING TO ADD IN A TRIP TO ABU DHABI after we get back from Zanzibar (if we get there). We booked into The Radisson Blue on the Abu Dhabi Corniche for four nights, hope to hell it has a bit more life than this Corniche. We booked our hotel for tomorrow in Dubai for three nights including New Years Eve on the beach (how is that for leaving it late). We booked our return flight with B.A, or more correctly changed our flight. We were on the 10.00am flight on the 27th in Premium Economy, we are now on the 02.10 flight a few days earlier. That red eye saves a fortune, so much so we could plump for an upgrade to Business flat bed for a mere £250 more each - SO WE PLUMPED!!!! It was a trouble free process and took no time at all, and as a bonus we don't need a hotel that night saving about £200, so technically our flat bed option cost the same as 10 cans of Guinness each in the restaurant last night. I know which I prefer. Not the Guinness, it was Guinness Zero.
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At dinner in the evening we had the lovely view below, of the big fountain, and in the foreground, that string of lights on the shoreline, the ever present doggers, still at, night and day. Stamina those boys possess.
WELL THAT WAS UNDERWHELMING.............
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I don't think we will be returning to Saudi Arabia. Bit too much like the Dubai I visited back in the 1980's, a one camel town with next to nothing going on. But we enjoyed ourselves. It was nice to take a break. When you become aware there is NOTHING to do, you slow the pace down. And the pace on this trip has needed slowing. It's not been our normal casual wandering around, taking in the sights, doing a daily organised trip, taking it easy, only occasionally talking to other fellow travellers along the way. This has been full on so far. So the Saudi Arabian de-tox worked. Time for a RE-TOX!!!! Back to Dubai en-route to Zanzibar..........