DUBAI
DUBAI FOR CHRISTMAS ....................
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A quick 9.5 hours overnight flight with Emirates Premium Economy to get there. Mrs Henslow made a valient attempt to upgrade to Business but was repelled at the gate by the small issue of £1,400 a head for the privilege. Even Sara baulked at that. Me, not even on my wish list. Have you any idea how many bottles of red wine £1400 buys??? (233 actually when on a 25% offer for 6 or more with a clubcard at Tesco's, just saying).
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So straight into the lounge at Cape Town International to drink the by now traditional double the lounge entry fee before boarding our flight to Dubai, delayed because it is bloody RAINING CATS AND DOGS in the desert apparently!!! You couldn't make it up. Raining so hard they have delayed the plane. Hope it clears up before we land is all I can say. Which it did in time for our 0600 touch down.
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Straight to our Dubai Marina hotel at Vida Yacht Club, a mere £230 a night. "May we check in (really) early please? NO. But if you'd like to upgrade to a suite for an extra £100 a night one is miraculously available right now. YES! said my travelling partner. Moments later we are ensconced in sheer luxury.
MEET UP WITH OUR GUIDE TO DUBAI
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Miles has been here for six months working alongside 250,000 other high earning Brits in their 20's and 30's who pay zero tax on their income, all of whom have fled the high tax, low motivation, welfare dependant economy that the UK is fast becoming. And when you see Dubai you realise why. Shame Rachel from Accounts doesn't
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I first came here in the early 1980's when the population was 300,000 and there were mainly 2-4 story buildings in a small, sandy, calm port town (not even really a city). Now it is 3,700,000 population with thousands of modern and modenistic high rise towers in a massive metropolis stretching for miles and linked by 12 lane highways. Beaches, malls, restaurants everywhere. What a place! Hardly a tree in sight.
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Our guide, in the shape of our son, picked us up and whisked us off for lunch in a packed rooftop restaurant with as much as you could eat and drink for £90 a head. So, as is traditional we drank our way through the card. The video below is proof.....
AS USUAL WE GOT OUR MONEY'S WORTH
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This was but the first stop on a two day introduction to Dubai before Beth and Hamish arrive from London for a five day Christmas party.
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We managed several meals, the outcome of the first one is seen on the right, we dined at The Spaniel Pub (picked because of Spencer, Miles's spaniel, obs), we visited the Burj Kalifa, as one must, via The Dubai Mall, the equivalent of about 20 Bluwater Shopping Centres all rolled into one with one major difference - it was rammed, rammed solid. People every flipping where!, We were tricked into visiting the Miracle Gardens, living proof of the old adage 'build it and they will come'. What a waste that was, see below the only living example of a full sized jumbo jet made out of flowers and be amazed, or not, as the case may be. We moved from our suite to a lovely two bed Airbnb and learned to love the app to end all apps CAREEM.
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Careem is my new best friend, even more of a friend that my old best friend CHAT GPT. Chat can answer questions, Careem can deliver shopping to your door in slightly less time than it has taken me to type this page so far. I just ordered a load of shopping including 10 litres of bottled water (heavy!) and it was at the door of our 10th floor apartment on an island in 10 minutes!! No delivery charge, it is just handed over by a nice man.​​
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VIDEO SOUND - click the icon bottom right
THEN BETHANY AND HAMISH ARRIVE.......
Straight off the overnight flight from London for a quick five day Christmas stay, and straight out to the amazing Jumeriah Al Qasr Hotel where you travel around the enormous garden grounds by flipping gondola, gotta love these designers with no budget limitations. Then straight from there to the harbour to join our charted yacht for a three hours sail around to see Dubai from the sea, with just a quick diversion to see what is behind the green door. A totally nondescript door in an office area, behind which was a nice flash off-licence. Open to Dubai residents with a permit, which Milo has. Wines are normally only offered in hotel restaraunts and start at £60 a bottle, here in the little corner shop they start at £6, just like the Coop at home, same brands too! So off we floated for a lovely relaxing trip, followed by a visit to The W Hotel for more beers than was strictly wise and a pool competition, then home (via one of our party crashing of their scooter, maybe not the best transport call of the day, it is almost certainly an arrestable offence here in the UAE, drunk in charge of a LIME scooter) and a call into my new mate Careem for a big bag or Big Macs, 15 minutes delivery time.
An excellent days entertainment, shame about the photobombed sunset picture, and so on to CHRISTMAS DAY. Tomorrow is the big one. A massive brunch, £115 a nob for all you can etc, etc, etc. We will be there on the dot and the last to leave - as ever. For obvious reasons we won't be sending out cards to everyone - so only those wise heads who read this blog AND have got this far without losing the will to live, will see our card to you and yours below.......................
CHRISTMAS DAY DAWNS SUNNY AND BRIGHT, AS EVER HERE IN THE DESERT
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Up early to open NO presents, except the one we brought for Miles, a pottery head of Spencer, made with my own fair hands in a pottery class we took in Whitstable. No presents, no decorations, no tree, this not Christmas as we know it Jim. But it soon changes into something more like Christmas when we enter the hallowed halls of The Atlantis Hotel, the super massive five star at the top of The Palm. Meet up with friends Phoebe and Lewis who drove up from their hotel in Abu Dhabi, and let the festivities begin ...................
Into one of their ginormous ballrooms, where the term 'deck the halls with boughs of holly' has been taken to extremes. This is a CHRISTMAS BRUNCH for over a thousand revellers, almost all British, almost all in their 20's to 30's, almost all from Essex! The men all with slicked back hair and in chinos and a polo shirt, the women all dolled up to the nines and almost every single one (our beauties excluded) enhanced in one way or another, some enhanced every which way, never seen so many plumped lips and so much smooth flesh.
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What a party! That is one special way to spend Christmas, not for the faint hearted. Unlimited booze of every kind, unlimited food of every kind, booming music throughout, great bunch of people, no issues, despite four hours a them all going at it like bulls at a gate!!
These pics are to show you four things, First, that I was the only person out a thousand wearing a suit! Second, I was the oldest in the room by a country mile, both of which facts got me loads of thumbs up from the Essex folk by the way. Third, the photo on the left shows the delicious food on Sara's plate, and just happens to have captured another delicious sight. And finally, they are not quite so precious about Santa's little helpers over here as they are in the UK!!!
Literally wall to wall birds and blokes looking like this, all dancing and singing their little hearts out for four hours!
For proof see the videos below - volume on/off is the icon bottom right of each one - for the full effect!!
The video on the left is me standing on a chair to film, and being quickly and in no uncertain manner being told to get down by that enormous bouncer. On the right is my best effort at limbo dancing. I know, I need more practise.
So all in all, a very successful Christmas Day, an alternative Christmas Day it must be said, and maybe not one to be repeated, but certainly one for the memory banks! Not certain how we got home via some beach club or other, and do recall booking jet skis for Boxing Day morning and the good old Careem turning up with yet more Big Macs.
YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY!!!
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No stamina! Come the morning and for some reason the jet ski outing which had been booked and £100 deposited for 10.30am suddenly looked less attractive.
Which was a real shame as I had booked a jet car, the one in the photo. A snip at £200 for the hour but guaranteed to produce some fun and fotos. No such luck, all I could hear was snoring coming from both bedrooms and later a mumbled "we are off to kip on the beach", Literally no stamina, I don't know what the world is coming too. And I was going to wear my suit!!
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Come the evening the weaklings had recovered enough for a last dinner out overlooking Dubai Marina at yet another great restaurant
WHAT A BACKDROP - WHAT A TOWN...
I have to admit I was a bit sceptical about coming to Dubai. As I said earlier I came here in the early 80's when it was tiny, then again with Miles in the early 2000's when there was a bit here, but now?! It's insane, so many amazing buildings, so much to see. So we are off to JEDDAH next for three days de-tox and then coming back to Dubai for three days, and again for a last visit on the way back from Zanzibar to London. By the time we have finished we will have spent almost two weeks here - that's how much we like it.
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THERE IS ONE PROBLEM THOUGH - TRAFFIC
Horrendous traffic on all the roads, so we SCOOTERED everywhere we could, miles and miles and miles on Lime, Bolt and Dott, I've got more scooter apps on my phone than soft mick. Big wide scooter lanes, 9 mph roughly, so reasonably fast, and they are all over the place so easy to hire on the app. Made light work of all our town travels. And only one of our party fell off, pissed. One of the two in the photo. I'm not allowed to say who it was...........
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So on to Saudi Arabia............... The don't have scooters there so she will be safe.
